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Why I Do This – Aaron

“Why do you do Foster Care?”

This question comes up repeatedly, but it always seems to catch me off guard.  I think the first time I heard a variation of this question, it was asked by our Certifier on the first day we met her. When she asked me, I froze. I felt like I didn’t have a good answer. To this day, I don’t know if I have a good answer. It feels like a question that can’t have a good answer, let alone a “right” answer. There are so many reasons why I am a foster parent, but at the same time there is also no one real reason why I am a foster parent. The answer I have settled on, at least for now, is “because I can”.

Kids Need to be Loved

If I am being honest, I never really thought about being a foster parent until we began the process of being certified. Jewell was the one who had been personally thinking about it, and ultimately proposed the idea to me. She had thought about it for years, waiting for the time to be perfect (as with almost anything, the timing is never perfect), and by the time she asked me if it was something I would be interested in, she was already mentally prepared. I was the one who was cautious and apprehensive.  I agreed to go to the initial orientation to try and understand what we would be getting into, but I put A LOT of “out clauses” in my agreement to go to the orientation, to make it clear that I was not making a commitment. However, after the orientation class, and to this day, I am completely on-board.  These kids need someone to love them and care for them. Continue reading “Why I Do This – Aaron”

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Why I Chose Foster Care – Jewell

Helping children and families has always been something I care deeply about. When I was young I decided that if I were to become a mom I wanted to try adoption. I have always had a hard time understanding why we have so many orphans in the world when there are so many people in the world who want kids. As I have gotten older I see both sides of this issue.

I have always had a hard time understanding why we have so many orphans in the world when there are so many people in the world who want kids.

Continue reading “Why I Chose Foster Care – Jewell”

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Books For Kids in Foster Care and Foster Parents

Foster Care Books

As foster parents, we quickly became acutely aware that it was difficult to find children’s books geared toward children in foster care. Children’s books hold a special place in our life.  Aaron’s Mom is a children’s librarian, and a variety of children’s books were always available to read in his house when he was growing up.  One book, “Where the Wild Things Are“, played such a significant part of Aaron’s childhood that he now has a page of the book tattooed to his arm.  At Jewell’s house, “The Chronicles of Narnia”  was an ever present theme around the house and her Mom has a replica Sword of Rhindon hanging on her wall.

Children’s books can be a powerful parenting tool.  Often, you can use a children’s book to help them learn to read, develop their critical thinking skills, teach life lessons, learn about feelings, or just relax and enjoy a story before bed. Over the years, children’s books have become more progressive. There is seemingly a book about everything, and featuring a vast variety of characters.  However, as we have been raising kiddos in our home, at times we have found it difficult to find books directly related to children in foster care, including books with children in care as the central character, or books about many of the difficult issues foster children experience. Continue reading “Books For Kids in Foster Care and Foster Parents”

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Our First Year in Review

Foster Parents

What a year! One year ago, we both left work early, drove out to SE 122nd during rush hour traffic, and began the The Certification Process to become non-relative foster parents. We went into the orientation session with an open mind.  Going into the orientation, we were not committed to being foster parents, we just genuinely wanted to learn more.  We wanted to see if this is something we felt we had the capacity to do at this point in our life. Looking back, what ensued after that first class one year ago is a whirlwind. Here is our recap… Continue reading “Our First Year in Review”

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ReMoved

ReMoved

Honestly, we are exhausted. We are recovering from the excitement of the holidays, adjusting to going back to school, dealing with the everyday craziness of parenting, and coupling all of this with what feels like an endless barrage of appointments for our kiddos and dealing with DHS.  Every night, we are wondering how we are going to make it through the next day.

It feels like every day, Trevor and Ariel find new ways to push our buttons, test our limits, and stretch our patience.  In our minds, we know that this is normal behavior for kiddos in foster care, especially those who have experienced trauma, and who feel safe in their foster home, but in the moment, it can be difficult to maintain perspective. They are processing their emotions and trauma, while trying to find the extent of our love and support for them.  Luckily for them, our love and support is endless… although Jewell and I often wonder how long we can keep this pace up. Continue reading “ReMoved”

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We Speak for the Kids

Today, we went to court to advocate on behalf of Ava.  It is not required for Foster Parents to attend court hearings, but as the guardian of the child, you receive notice of court dates in the mail.  We never take the kids to court with us.  In our opinion, there is no point for a child to see their parents in such an awkward and vulnerable position, and no need for children to learn the extents of the issues associated with their case and their parents.

We have always attended the court hearings for our kiddos. The hearing is the best opportunity to gain the most information regarding the status of the case, as well as receive an accurate account of the progress being made by the parents, or the lack there of, and the recommended plan moving forward. At a typical court hearing, we sit awkwardly and uncomfortably in the back of the tiny courtroom and listen to what is being discussed. This time was different. This time, we came with a purpose. We had a prepared statement, and we were terrified.

Continue reading “We Speak for the Kids”